Mental Health, My Writing

My Biggest Fear.

My biggest fear is loneliness.
The thought of waking up with nobody to talk to… scares me.
In fact, in under a month, I’ll be leaving college.
The people in my classes?
The people I speak to on a daily basis?
Gone.
Just like that.
And there’s a good chance that I’ll never see them again.
Or hear of them again.
Or even speak to them again.
Just a young man, living life on his own.
His only companion the thoughts in his head.
As he travels across the empty road,
Trying to find a purpose in life,
Just merely existing in the back of people’s minds.

That is truly terrifying.

 

Photo Credit: @ShiftGraphiX

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Mental Health, My Writing

New Message (Part 1)

New message. At twelve. Twenty-four. AM.

“Hi. it’s your depression again.
Just seeing if you miss me.
It’s been over a week since our last meeting,
But don’t worry – I’ll be back in three.
And just before you decide not to answer like last time,
Remember who’s got a spare key.
I can unlock your mind, any time or place
So you’d better get some therapy!
You try to block me out of your mind,
But it’s clear to both of us that I’m here to stay.
And no matter how hard you’ll try,
I want you to know I’m your guardian angel and will show you the way.
You think I’m the devil? You must have it twisted,
I’m giving you the harsh truth.
Want to believe in that man looking down at us?
Ha! You really do have some screws loose!

You want to get better? Look at yourself!
Stop living in this fantasy
Get your head from the clouds into a dictionary.
Look up the definition of insanity.
Soon enough you’ll be hit with de ja vu
And a sense of reality.
Still don’t get it? My God, your pathetic.
Looks like I’m gonna use profanity.

So you’re gonna blame me for your symptoms,
And act like the victim?
Not the fact that you’re like everyone else,
and you don’t fucking listen?
You stay confined in the walls of your room,
Like it’s a prison.
Let me pose you this question, Matt:
Is that a life worth living?
You convince yourself that I’m my visions are lies,
They’re ‘all in your head’.
But how can you live life in your own bed?
How can you live life WISHING WE WERE BOTH DEAD?”

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All Posts, Mental Health

SAD.

That amazing moment
when you look outside
at 6pm
and see the sun setting
in the sky
blinding you with sunlight.
Because at that point
you feel a sense of optimism,
your “lighter side” is shiner through
as the realization hits you.
The days will get lighter,
and longer,
and a lot warmer.
And at this thought,
you smile for the first time
in a while,
as you can feel your seasonal depression
start to evaporate
in front of your eyes.

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My Writing

What is Love? (Poem)

(Baby don’t hurt me.)

This is just a little poem that I wrote in Creative Writing, but I thought I’d share it, because although it’s not great, I kinda liked it.
For context, we were given Adrian Henri’s poem “Love Is” in class… and we just had to use it as a prompt for our own poem “expressing our understanding of love”.

So here’s what I wrote :)

 

Love is…

Love is… having arguments over pointless things

Like telling her she’s really annoying when she sings.

Love is constantly saying “yes dear”
When she’s constantly talking for about… five years.

Love is sitting for five hours on the same seat

As she takes ages to decide what to eat.

Love is her turning back, giving you that frown
Because you’ve forgotten to put the toilet seat down.
Love is hitting you on the side everytime you snore
Or when you’ve left your dirty washing again on the floor.

But then again…
Love is all about embracing each other’s flaws.

And when you lie together on the sand
Holding each other hand-in-hand
Celebrating five years in each other’s life…

Love is the moment you want her to be your wife.

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All Posts, Mental Health, My Writing

The Man In The Mirror. (Poem)

I look at myself in the mirror.
Or at least, I think that’s me?
I don’t know anymore.
This person looks emotionally drained,
With bags under his eyes,
Dilated pupils – like a deer in headlights,
He stares into the abyss for a moment,
Until your eyes meet with him.
That flicker of confusion and terror plastered on your faces,
Will stay with you forever.

God.
It’s like you’ve both seen a ghost.

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