I Should Have Done Things Differently

Looking back at my life,
I realise that even now,
Eighteen years old,
I should have done things differently.
I should have gone out,
Spoken to friends more,
Spent more time with family.

But no.
I didn’t do that.
I did it all wrong.
I fucked it.

It just makes me wonder,
Is it my fault,
That I’m like this?
This empty, emotionless shell?
The remains of this person I used to be?
The old Matt,
Who had so much promise,
So much going for him?

Did I do this to myself,
Because of my actions?

And what if I did things differently?
Would I still feel hopeless,
Down,
Depressed?
Or would I actually be achieving something in life?

I guess I’ll never find out…

 

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